Q. Why do I have multicolored pubic hair? –Rainbow Pubes
A. Well Rainbow Pubes, the reason for this is unknown. There are only 27 women on this Earth who share your problem. I have two solutions for you to make your situation more tolerable. The first solution is to shave your vag. It is an easy and cheap solution that will ensure nobody will call you “Clown Pussy” ever again. The second solution is to dye your pubes. This is an opportunity to get creative and let yourself experiment. Go for a nice auburn to bring out the natural color of your clitoris, or maybe jet black for a slimming effect.
Q. I use my vagina as a pocket for my cellphone. Is that weird? –Happy and Vibrating
A. No. As a matter of fact 80% of the women in the world use their vaginas as a cell phone holder. The other 20% wish for a cell phone to stick in their vagina, so you are not alone. In fact, Happy and Vibrating, you can use it as more than a cell phone pocket. Need a place to store your water bottle while power walking? Use your vagina! Got a sweet tooth? Store some sugary snacks like cookies and Twinkies in there for when your hunger pains strike. God gave you a vagina for a reason, girl. Have fun seeing how much sports equipment you can store up there!
Q. Sometimes, I notice big bugs crawling out of my vagina in thick, green mucus. Is this normal? –Bugs life
A. No. this may be a sign of the rare disease, Vagiobugsalotosis. This disease is most commonly found in women in the sex trafficking industry. It is relatively harmless and easy to cure. First, take a metal rod and stick it in a fire until it is red hot. Then, insert it into your vagina. That should kill the bugs. As for the mucus, collect it and sell it to your local library. Vagina mucus actually preserves books, and they will pay a lot for that!
Q. My vagina has smelled like cow manure for about 10 days now, and now it’s starting to grow tentacles, I’m 12, so is this just a normal part of puberty? HELP! –Smellytentaclegirl
A. Dear Smellytentaclegirl, don’t worry. These are normal signs of puberty. You are becoming a woman! Celebrate! Soon you will get your first period, and that’s when the real fun begins! But for now, you should cut off the tentacles and throw them into a fire one by one if you want to get rid of them forever. As for the manure smell, just febreeze it daily, and it should go away in a week or two.
A. Well Rainbow Pubes, the reason for this is unknown. There are only 27 women on this Earth who share your problem. I have two solutions for you to make your situation more tolerable. The first solution is to shave your vag. It is an easy and cheap solution that will ensure nobody will call you “Clown Pussy” ever again. The second solution is to dye your pubes. This is an opportunity to get creative and let yourself experiment. Go for a nice auburn to bring out the natural color of your clitoris, or maybe jet black for a slimming effect.
Q. I use my vagina as a pocket for my cellphone. Is that weird? –Happy and Vibrating
A. No. As a matter of fact 80% of the women in the world use their vaginas as a cell phone holder. The other 20% wish for a cell phone to stick in their vagina, so you are not alone. In fact, Happy and Vibrating, you can use it as more than a cell phone pocket. Need a place to store your water bottle while power walking? Use your vagina! Got a sweet tooth? Store some sugary snacks like cookies and Twinkies in there for when your hunger pains strike. God gave you a vagina for a reason, girl. Have fun seeing how much sports equipment you can store up there!
Q. Sometimes, I notice big bugs crawling out of my vagina in thick, green mucus. Is this normal? –Bugs life
A. No. this may be a sign of the rare disease, Vagiobugsalotosis. This disease is most commonly found in women in the sex trafficking industry. It is relatively harmless and easy to cure. First, take a metal rod and stick it in a fire until it is red hot. Then, insert it into your vagina. That should kill the bugs. As for the mucus, collect it and sell it to your local library. Vagina mucus actually preserves books, and they will pay a lot for that!
Q. My vagina has smelled like cow manure for about 10 days now, and now it’s starting to grow tentacles, I’m 12, so is this just a normal part of puberty? HELP! –Smellytentaclegirl
A. Dear Smellytentaclegirl, don’t worry. These are normal signs of puberty. You are becoming a woman! Celebrate! Soon you will get your first period, and that’s when the real fun begins! But for now, you should cut off the tentacles and throw them into a fire one by one if you want to get rid of them forever. As for the manure smell, just febreeze it daily, and it should go away in a week or two.