Becca struts into the strip club wearing an American flag draped around her torso. Men whistle and cat call and she blows them kisses. She scratches her butt then smells her fingers. Then she licks them. She comes over to sit at the table with her legs spread wide. She is not wearing any underpants, and believe me, the carpets do not match the drapes. The carpets are rainbow.
Becca orders a strange beverage: Cake vodka with blue Gatorade. She drinks it in 30 seconds and orders 2 more. We decide to start the interview. I ask Becca about her childhood and she tells me this sad story:
Becca orders a strange beverage: Cake vodka with blue Gatorade. She drinks it in 30 seconds and orders 2 more. We decide to start the interview. I ask Becca about her childhood and she tells me this sad story:
She had a wonderful life until first grade, when everything went downhill. She met a stupid whore named Katherine S. at first Katherine seemed like a great girl. They both shared a love for “The Emperor’s New Groove” and they both had beautiful orange hair. Things were going great until Katherine started to get really possessive. She forced Becca to break off all of her other friendships. “I had to say goodbye to my friend, Catherine Morgan, which was hard for me because she is so great. Katherine brainwashed me.”
She told me how Katherine forced her to do illegal things like “make her Methamphetamine in my lab” and shoplift for her. “Things got really bad when she had me kill a hooker who she owed a lot of money to. I was arrested and had to spend many years in prison. I was raped daily by my cellmate, Norma. All because of that manipulative first grader.”
She told me how Katherine forced her to do illegal things like “make her Methamphetamine in my lab” and shoplift for her. “Things got really bad when she had me kill a hooker who she owed a lot of money to. I was arrested and had to spend many years in prison. I was raped daily by my cellmate, Norma. All because of that manipulative first grader.”
Things really turned around for her when she got out of prison. She went to high school, where she got good grades and made good friends. She never saw Katherine again.
One day she was performing the National Anthem at the Tewksbury Memorial High School talent show. There was a record producer in the audience who loved her voice. She signed a record deal that night and has been an international singing sensation ever since. Critics have said that she has “a voice sweeter than an angel” and a “style trashier than Ke$ha and the 5 cent hooker from Motel Caswell.”
One day she was performing the National Anthem at the Tewksbury Memorial High School talent show. There was a record producer in the audience who loved her voice. She signed a record deal that night and has been an international singing sensation ever since. Critics have said that she has “a voice sweeter than an angel” and a “style trashier than Ke$ha and the 5 cent hooker from Motel Caswell.”
Some people may think that a woman with success of that magnitude may be very intimidating, but not Christopher Mintz-Plasse (McLovin from Superbad). The two have been dating for over 4 years and are inseparable! What’s the secret to keeping the heat in the relationship? “He always makes me peanut butter and fluff sandwiches, and I fellate him every night.”
Don’t ask her if she’s planning on having children with her sexy stud. “My friends and I went to get our tubes tied together years ago. I can’t get pregnant, and I could not be happier.”
When asked about her future plans, Becca utters a single word: “cats”. She orders 2 more cake vodka cocktails in to-go cups and walks out of the trashy joint with an attitude that leaves me speechless and amazed.
Don’t ask her if she’s planning on having children with her sexy stud. “My friends and I went to get our tubes tied together years ago. I can’t get pregnant, and I could not be happier.”
When asked about her future plans, Becca utters a single word: “cats”. She orders 2 more cake vodka cocktails in to-go cups and walks out of the trashy joint with an attitude that leaves me speechless and amazed.